Wedding of the Ages

1. Call of the Bride

"Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready." (Rev.19:7).

The love of romance is as old as the ages. Never has there been a time when a tale of romance failed to excite the interest of normal, rational human beings. A marriage is mostly hailed as a truly happy event by people of every age and nation. In the Bible, the oldest and most sacred of books, more than one bright page is devoted to some love‑idyll, some sweet love lyric, delighting the senses, shedding a sweetness and beauty upon the more arid and sombre experience of human history.

The Apostle tells us that "Whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope." (Rom.15:4). The nation of Israel was a company of people chosen and separated from the world for a special purpose; not the least part of that purpose was the use of their customs as well as their experiences to illustrate, foreshadow, enact or dramatize things which were to be part of the life of a spiritual House of Israel, another class of people also chosen and separated from the world for a Divine purpose.

Most fascinating among the customs of these eastern peoples are the betrothal and marriage customs. Eastern customs are almost opposite to those of the west, a fact which brings to mind a verse of the Word; "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD." (Isa.55:8) Without doubt there are lessons for us to learn by observation of these customs and the experiences which have been recorded, not only that we may have a strong hope for the future, but that our own lives may be influenced for good by them.

When the Apostle wrote, "All these things happened unto them for examples, and were written for our admonition upon whom the ends of the ages are met" (1 Cor.10:11*), we cannot afford to neglect any of them, either the failures, the successes, or the joys. In the west a man chooses his own bride and marries whom and when he pleases. In the east a bride is chosen for him and the time of the marriage fixed by the parents of the couple. It was the custom for the mother to seek out a bride for her son while still a boy. When he was grown to manhood she then fixed the time of his marriage in consultation with the bride’s parents, and the young pair dutifully accepted their choice. Nor did a son fear his mother’s choice, for, like mothers the world over, only the best is good enough.

In the case of a son bereaved of his mother before a betrothal could be arranged, the father had to do the seeking. As a man was not allowed into the apartments or social gatherings of women, he had to employ a reliable woman agent. This agent was known as a Waakeel (Wakeel). It was her special business to go about the homes and meeting places of eligible women looking for the qualities desired by a father for his son. She was plainly dressed and heavily veiled so that she attracted no personal attention. Whenever she entered the social gatherings of the young women they knew at once her errand. Each would hastily veil her face. The Wakeel however, with gentle firmness, would draw aside each veil, closely scanning every face. Having mentally noted looks, deportment, and disposition, she next inquired of her parents her capabilities, her dower, and their consent, should the qualities of father and son meet with their approval. Everything being mutually satisfactory the marriage contract was made and in due time the wedding took place.

The contract was not made in writing. The agent, acting on behalf of the bridegroom’s father, placed fingers and thumbs tip to tip with those of the bride’s father, each swearing solemnly to do their part in bringing the desired union to a successful conclusion. This form of making a covenant was highly honourable, the form no doubt used by David and Jonathan when making their pact of friendship before the Lord. It was the custom of this people, when defeating a treacherous foe, to cut off the thumbs and big toes, so that never again could he pursue a foe or sign a contract. In other words, he was disgraced and dishonoured as one not to be trusted. To be called "the breaker of a trust" was to give a man a bad character. This form of contract was therefore as binding as any signed document.

The agent and the father having now made all secure, the son is next informed of the plans made on his behalf. The agent sings the praises of the bride‑to‑be, acting as go‑between, carrying gifts and messages from one to the other, who are not allowed to meet until the wedding day. The bride adorns herself with jewels sent to her by her unseen lover, cherishing his messages, eager to learn from the agent all she can of her future home, position, and the husband with whom she will share them. A wise agent can, by faithful ministries, so enamour the pair with each other that they look forward with as much eagerness to the marriage as though they had been in personal contact throughout the waiting period. The friends of the bride gather with her as much as possible, assisting her in the making of the bridal garments. Together they sing the wedding song in anticipation of the forthcoming event, not merely because there is going to be this joyous event but because the bride is making herself ready.

The day having been decided upon, preparations are made to honour the marriage. The ceremonial is colourful, the preparations long and lavish. The marriage takes place at the bride’s home, but the wedding feast is spread at the home of the bridegroom. Should the father be a man of wealth, the banquet will be a full‑scale full‑dress affair. Many guests of all ranks and classes will be bidden to attend the festivities, which often last several days according to the wealth of the father.

With each invitation goes a wedding garment, so none may excuse himself on the grounds of having no proper dress for the grand occasion. This garment is by no means a uniform. Each dress is chosen to suit the individuality of the wearer. In the case of a rich man or a King’s son the dresses would be costly, of fine fabrics, often ornamented with pearls or precious stones. The dress is a wedding gift from the bridegroom to the invited guests. The non‑appearance of an invited guest is an offence to the host, for hospitality is regarded in the East as the highest asset of a household, while to appear without the wedding dress, attired for preference in his own garments, is publicly to insult the host. Such a one is considered totally unfit to mingle with other guests. Not only is he forcibly ejected, he is locked up until the ceremonies are over, so that he cannot again offend by his conceited self‑esteem.

All preparations being completed, the joyful households await the actual marriage and the arrival of the bridal pair with their retinue of attendants. The bride waits in readiness at her father’s house, choicely attired in a dress of fine white linen, embroidered by her own hands and those of her friends who have assisted her in her getting ready. Over this she wears a loose, short coat of red or purple silk richly embroidered in thread of gold, often sewn with jewels which have been her bridegroom’s gifts to her during the period of betrothal. The richness of her attire is always in accord with his wealth. On her feet she will have silver shoes, round her waist a girdle of chased silver; while rings, bracelets, long pendant earrings, and other adornments add to the beauty of her appearance. Thus, arrayed she sits patiently upon a pile of bright silk cushions, eagerly awaiting the coming of the bridegroom. Her virgin companions are gathered about her in the same state of glad expectation. As the Eastern wedding takes place at night anytime between sundown and midnight, her watchers carry with them lamps, small oil burning clay vessels, with a cruse of replenishment oil tucked into the waist girdle, for the lights may be required for hours if the bridegroom is long in arriving. The hour is never fixed. It is just a case of waiting, all in readiness for whatever time he may arrive.

And the bridegroom, what of him? He is in a state of no less happy excitement. Suitably attired for the important event, the feast all in readiness, he sets out with a band of his men friends for the home of his bride. He does not take a direct route, for while on the way he and his followers stop to publish to all and sundry the good news of the marriage about to take place. With songs and joyful music, he and his friends go up and down the highways and byways. If the bridal pair are well‑known this may take some time. The virgin friends of the bride watching, alert and intent from the porch or housetop, may discern lights which herald his approach. At once the cry is raised; "He comes! Behold the bridegroom," but before they are on their way to escort him in, the lights recede, the sounds of song and music die away. Disappointed they return to their post while the bride within, her hopes having been raised by their shouts of joy, sinks again into an attitude of patient waiting. The bridegroom tarries; almost he had been at the door when his friends drew his attention to some group as yet out of hearing of the proclamation. As this is an important event of interest to all the neighbourhood, none must be overlooked. They may not be bidden to the feast but at least they are to hear that a marriage is to take place, and who are the participants. They may be nobody of note but so great is the joy of the bridegroom that all must be made aware of the long‑anticipated event.

Within and about the house an air of weariness creeps over the watchers. It grows late. The bridegroom tarries long, it seems to them, yet in reality he is coming; every moment of time he is on his way to the appointed place and union with his beloved. Once more the drowsy virgins hear the songs in the night. Getting closer now, they leap to their feet with the glad cry "Behold the bridegroom! Go out and meet him." It is midnight. The wait has been long. Half the bride’s attendants have fallen asleep. While they pull themselves together, they discover that their lamps are going out. Some have gone out, and there is no oil in their cruse for filling up the vessels. In the smoke of smouldering wicks and the darkness of lamps gone out, the bewildered virgins cry in panic to the wide‑awake for oil, but this they refuse to give. They are already on their way with the lights, on the path of the bridegroom, eager and determined to go in with him to the marriage. Bustling the careless go to the oil merchants to buy fresh supplies so they may join the glad chorus of welcome. It is difficult to buy anything at midnight, and while the unready are on their fruitless errand, the bridegroom and all the attendants have gone into the marriage and the door is shut, barred with the stout wooden bar which locks an Eastern door. When the master of the house has once shut the door in this fashion he opens again for none. The unfortunate latecomers arrive to find their knocking for admittance all in vain. They are left in the dark, out of the honours which are going on inside.

The bride with veiled face stands before her husband, while their friends are grouped around them with their musical instruments ready to break out into the rapturous wedding song which the bride and her maidens have so often sung in anticipation of this event. The bride’s father holds above her head a drawn sword, signifying she is still under his filial protection. Her father gives her into the care and keeping of her bridegroom and the sword is lowered and sheathed, its purpose finished. Now the bridegroom lifts the veil from the face of his betrothed, draping it over his left shoulder. For the first time these two meet face to face. No distance separates them. The veil is not only removed but by placing it upon his own shoulder the bridegroom has now assumed the full responsibility of a husband. The bride has now become a wife with all a wife’s responsibilities and the sharer of her husband’s name, wealth, and position.

There is no wedding ring in the East, but the bride’s dowry, the gift of her father, in gold or silver coins, is fashioned into a tiara. This is now placed upon her head, giving her the regal aspect of a queen. The long pendants of silver chains which meet artistically below the throat, is the ornament which distinguished a married woman of the East. Her wealth and position were noted by the crown. When Jesus told of the woman who lost a piece of silver and searched diligently till she found it, he was no doubt speaking of a coin lost from the head‑dress of a married woman. The loss not only spoiled the symmetry of her crown, it lost a part of her wealth.

Here we take leave of the queenly bride and her proud husband as they stand side by side, radiantly happy, their friends grouped about them, the rapturous wedding song filling the night with music. Presently they will all leave for his father’s house, making melody all the way. There the feast is spread, and there a father waits to welcome home a son’s bride, presented to him in all her spotless loveliness with pride and exceeding joy.

(To be continued)
FAS